G. Knerd

Considering I just graduated from college a few years ago (thus giving you some idea of how young I am), I have a relatively impressive yarn stash.  In volumetric terms, it’s about 18 cubic feet (roughly half a cubic meter, for you metric types), and that’s under pretty heavy compression.  The only reason it’s not double that size is because over the last few years I’ve done a few systematic cullings of synthetic or crappy yarn, so everything that’s left is at least Cascade 220 quality or higher, and I’ve also been on a yarn diet for more than three years.

Of course, “yarn diet” is a very flexible term when I  use it.  In theory, it was supposed to mean “knit from stash and stop buying new yarn, stupid”, but what it ends up meaning is “don’t go to the yarn store by yourself, but when someone invites you to come with them then you probably will end up buying something there.”  Or if you’re at a yarn store you’ve never been to.  Or if there’s a sale.  Or if you’re sure you know what you’re going to do with it.  Or if you need a reward to motivate you to get through something really crappy at work.

The end result is that it’s unclear whether my stash has grown or shrunk over the last few years.  Given that I’ve given away bags of yarn in that time frame, that realization alone is rather disturbing.

So on Saturday, I was forced to understand why the “yarn diet” wasn’t really working.  It started with this box from Knit Picks…

Which when opened up revealed  30 balls of the gorgeously soft and squishy yarn (Simply Cotton Organic Sport in Marshmallow) for my friend’s wedding blanket.  When I ordered it, I figured 30 balls would be enough (it’s 4,920 yards, for goodness sake!), but now I’m wondering if maybe I shouldn’t order 10-20 more…you know, just in case…

But then, upon taking that yarn out of the box, I also found the Elegant Edibles kit, with it’s own set of 14 balls.

This kit is my reward for surviving March.  Remember how I posted maybe twice the whole month?  I’m counting myself lucky that my head didn’t turn around backwards while my eyes imploded and my insides were sucked into a black hole.

…that’s just a lovely image, isn’t it?  Here, why don’t you look at the picture of the knitted fruit and vegetable bags instead of imagining that other thing:

All told, though, that’s 44 balls of yarn acquired in one day.  And, sure, I didn’t buy any yarn in the month or two before, so maybe that averages to less than one per day.  Except that, I went to the yarn store a few weeks ago with a couple friends, where there was also a sale, and may have walked out with some yarn for an imaginary sweater.  But even if we forget that particular purchase of yarn, and even if the things in the box were justified because it’s for a gift and a reward respectively, well…

…that still doesn’t explain this:

That’s right, the day after that box arrived I found myself in a yarn store, and I managed to pick up 5 skeins of Cascade 220 (and a pom-pom maker, inspired by the Yarn Harlot’s post).  And as soon as I walked out of the store, I realized…I have a problem.

So here it is – I’m really committed this time.  I’m on a yarn diet, and yes, that really does mean that I will not be buying any more yarn.  If that means I can’t go to any more yarn stores, so be it.  If that means I have to find different rewards for my difficult projects, oh well.  Until my stash is of a reasonable size – which we’ll say is roughly 12 cubic feet, when it will fit in the one giant tub I have without overflow or major compression – I will not buy any more yarn.

Unless, you know, I need more yarn for the wedding blanket.  Because I’m actually really worried that five thousand yards might not be enough…